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Writer's pictureTamara Seerkissoon

Forget Self-Doubt - Embrace Confidence


We've all been there. You're sitting at your desk, or behind the wheel of your car, or in a queue at the shop when suddenly an overwhelming feeling of self-doubt comes over you. You wonder how on earth anybody could ever think that you were good enough to handle this opportunity or trust you enough to make this decision. That's right: every single one of us has experienced a sudden bout of self-judgment that makes us question our abilities and worthiness as human beings. But guess what? It doesn't have to be like that! In fact, it never should be like that—or at least not for long periods of time


I don't think I'm good enough.

All right, the truth is that self-doubt is normal and healthy. It's a sign that you have an active imagination and are constantly striving to improve yourself. But there comes a point when self-doubt turns into a negative cycle:

  • You worry about what other people think of you, so you avoid social situations in order to avoid being embarrassed by your own behaviour.

  • You're afraid of failure, so you never try anything new or take on tasks at work that might cause others to judge your abilities negatively.

  • You don't want anyone else seeing how much effort it takes for you just getting through another day—you're tired all the time!—so instead of talking about how crappy things are going in life, everyone pretends like everything is fine and dandy when really everyone just wants someone else around who can empathize with their struggles.

I'm afraid to succeed.

We all have a fear of success. Yours might be fear of failure, the unknown, losing control or what other people will think. Or maybe your fear is being overwhelmed by your own success.

Regardless of which fear(s) you have, they can hold you back from doing amazing things with your life and achieving greatness in your career and personal life. As long as you let it control you, that’s exactly what it will do!


I'm too old for this.

Let's get one thing straight: there will always be someone younger than you, and there will always be someone older than you. You're never too old to learn or do something new. You can't stop growing, attempting new challenges and improving yourself as a person just because the calendar says so.

The only person who determines whether or not it's too late for you is yourself.

If you're feeling like it's too late to change your life, or if you're feeling like it's too late for you to be successful at something, then maybe it is. But only if you choose to believe that.


Success is for other people, not for me.

Once you learn to believe in yourself, success is for everyone. You can be successful at anything you set your mind to. You can be successful at anything you choose to do. When I say "anything," what I mean is that if someone else is doing it successfully and they're not a rocket scientist or an astronaut or something like that, then there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do it too!

And if someone else has already done it before and they didn't have special powers or unique talents – just their wits and determination – then how could anyone else not succeed?


I need the approval of others before I can do anything.

"I need the approval of others before I can do anything," is a sentiment that many people with confidence issues have held onto. You may have even told yourself on occasion, "I'm not going to do this because everyone will hate me." or "I don't want anyone to see my work because they'll think it's terrible and make fun of me."

The truth is: no one has any power over your thoughts and feelings except for you. You are the only person who can make decisions about what you do and how you feel about it later. When you allow others' opinions and judgments get in the way of doing something that feels right for you, then those people start having control over how much joy or success you experience in life. And let me tell ya—that's not pretty! You can only please yourself 100% of the time (and maybe your cat). For example, if someone thinks your favourite song sucks but YOU love it...even though they say differently, YOU still love it!


I feel like a fraud.

No, you're not a fraud. Everyone feels like they're a fraud at some point in their lives, and the difference between you and someone who has accomplished something great is that they've made it through the self-doubt phase. If you feel like people will find out that you're not who they think you are, or if your successes are just luck or coincidence—if these thoughts are keeping you up at night or interfering with your day-to-day life—I have good news: You can change these beliefs.

The first step is understanding why these thoughts are happening and how they affect us.


I'm afraid to trust myself.

The first step to being confident is trusting yourself. This sounds incredibly easy, but it's actually quite difficult. It's difficult because we're all used to doubting ourselves. We need the feedback of other people so that we can make sense of the world around us—that's why we have parents! They teach us how to read and write, speak properly, cook food, etc., but when it comes down to making decisions about our own lives as adults...we don't ask for advice as much anymore. In fact, many of us are too embarrassed or shy or self-conscious even just text someone "Hey I need your opinion..." And yet this is exactly what we should be doing: trusting ourselves enough to ask those around us if they think our ideas are good ones because that's how you get better at making decisions! So why do most people fail at this? Because they are afraid of being wrong or judged by others (which isn't fair because everyone makes mistakes sometimes). But here's where things get tricky: You can still trust yourself without being 100% certain about every decision you make—you just have faith that whatever choice ends up working out will ultimately be the right one because YOU made it!


It's too late for me to change anything.

A lot of people think that it's too late for them to change anything, but that's not true. It doesn't matter how old you are or what your past has been like; there is always an opportunity for you to learn something new and make a difference in the world. You may be thinking: "But it's too late for me." This isn't true at all! Here are some ways that you can stop yourself from believing this lie:

  • You are never too old to learn new things. You can start at any time (even today). Even if your brain doesn't work like it used to, there are still lots of things that you could learn just by using other senses instead of relying on sight alone (like listening intently while someone reads aloud).

  • Anything you do has effects on others around us. You don't have control over what other people do but we do have power over ourselves because we can choose our actions freely without being forced into doing anything against our will (unless someone threatens our safety). Every choice we make affects those around us even if those consequences aren’t immediately apparent because everything flows downstream eventually so even small choices matter down stream later on downriver somewhere further downstream but never forget about those upstream conditions upstream conditions upstream conditions upstream conditions upstream conditions upstream condition upstream condition

Don't judge yourself too harshly and be kind to yourself.

You’re not the first person to feel the way you do. And that’s okay! Many people experience self-doubt, but there is a way to overcome this and become confident in yourself.

The first step is to stop judging yourself too harshly. You will not be able to move forward if you are constantly criticizing your own capabilities and skills. Instead, try being kinder and gentler with yourself by reminding yourself of past accomplishments and good aspects about yourself – even if it seems silly or unimportant at the time! Remember: don't be too ambitious in your goals either! This can lead down a path where having success becomes more important than enjoying what you do now – which can cause stress out of fear that something isn't done well enough yet (even if it already IS). By lowering expectations slightly while still maintaining high standards for performance quality - we'll have less room left over for worry about failure because there's no sense worrying about something unless it actually matters at all -- so why worry?


So, what do you think? Are you ready to stop beating yourself up and start building confidence? If so, take a few moments to reflect on your answers above. What thoughts are holding you back from feeling good about yourself?

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